Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductions: We Can Dream, Can’t We?
Today’s the day.
Once again, the art (or rather the commerce) of rock & roll is reduced to sports stats. Who’s in? Who’s out? Who cares?
The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame is in Cleveland. But once again, the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductions are being held tonight in NYC. Because, well, who wants to go to Cleveland? Other than Spinal Tap. Or the Michael Stanley Band…
So, very far away from the actual Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, tonight’s inductees will include:
and in the lowly sideman category:
So, today’s BURNING QUESTION is, what would you most like to see happen at the ceremonies tonight:
1. Everybody – and I mean, everybody – onstage in a Mad Dogs & Englishmen-style cluster-fuck jam, bellowing out “Sweet Caroline,” as though the Red Sox just won the World Series.
2. Alice Cooper/Darlene Love duet on “Only Women Bleed.”
3. Justin Bieber steps up as a last minute replacement for Neil Young to induct Tom Waits.
4. Darlene Love croons “(Today I Met) The Boy I’m Going to Marry” to Adam Lambert.
5. Paul Shaffer comes down with a severe case of ricketts and is unable to lead the all-star backing band.
6. In a backstage snafu, a real guillotine is “accidentally” wheeled out onstage, and Alice Cooper actually decapitates Neil Diamond onstage during “The Ballad of Dwight Frye.”
7. Due to the current economic tailspin, the booze runs out at 7:45pm, and all of the rock stars in attendance leave the Waldorf Astoria and go home.
8. Dr. John admits that it’s not only the wrong place, but the wrong time, too.
9. At the last minute, Tom Waits decides not to attend and sends Sasheen Littlefeather to accept his award.
10. In solidarity with the people of Egypt and Libya, Geddy Lee, Neil Peart and Alex Lifeson overthrow the proceedings and commandeer the stage to sing “Tom Sawyer” over and over and over again until officials finally relent and allow Rush into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. There is, however, an asterisk next to their name.