Super Bowl XLV: Green Bay Packers 31, Pittsburgh Steelers 25

February 8th, 2011, 11:11 am by Sara

It feels good to be wrong…

SUPER BOWL XLV: Green Bay Packers 31, Pittsburgh Steelers 25
JESSE JACOBS’ PREDICTION: Pittsburgh Steelers 17, Green Bay Packers 14

Yes, I predicted the Steelers to pull out their third Super Bowl win in just seven years. Even though Sunday’s result invalidated my prediction, I’m as happy today as anyone that the Green Bay Packers were able to hoist their first Lombardi trophy since 1997. Well, I’m probably not as happy as anyone. Packer fans probably one-up my enthusiasm substantially. Let’s refresh. My attitude regarding the game could be paraphrased as “oh, that’s cool.” It’s like reaching between the cushions of my couch and pullingd up a starburst I accidently dropped a week earlier. I’d be somewhat pumped about it. Hell, I might even call into work. By the end of the day however, I’d probably forget about it.

Aaron Rodgers is better than Favre!!!” Is that the only reason you wanted the Packers to win the Super Bowl? As much as every diminishment of Favre’s legacy brings a slight twinge of joy to my heart, I know deep down that this statement simply isn’t true (yet). Rodgers has only started NFL football games for three years. Brad Johnson and Trent Dilfer each started and won the Super Bowl. Rex Grossman came damn close as well. Rodgers is far better than any of those three, but if his career were to end in the first game of next season, he would hardly be remembered as anything more. “They were all terrible” was the synopsis of that rant, in case you don’t recognize those names.

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Gazing Into the Super Bowl Crystal Ball…

January 31st, 2011, 11:04 am by Sara


There. I just saved you four hours of your life, but unfortunately you also lost three thousand dollars. Well, not all of you. For those of you who aren’t insane and will not be betting on the coin toss, I encourage you to continue reading.


Allow me to dampen my prediction with a disclaimer. I hope I’m wrong about the outcome of this game for several reasons. If the Steelers win, it likely means that defense prevailed and the game was unbearably boring. A Steelers win would mark their third Super Bowl championship in seven years, another boring premise. My personal reason for rooting against my prediction is that I like Green Bay, and they are the team I decided to root for when the playoffs began. At a base level, however, I only root for entertainment and controversy.

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AFC Championship: Pittsburgh Steelers 24, New York Jets 19

January 25th, 2011, 3:16 pm by Sara


The over-the-top cry of “can’t wait!” by New York Jets linebacker Bart Scott served as the anthem of Jets fans everywhere leading up to last Sunday’s AFC Championship game against the Steelers. The Jets now know firsthand that patience is indeed a virtue. The contrast of style between the Steelers and Jets was glaring on Sunday. The Steelers epitomized the blue-collar mentality of their loyal fan base, putting their heads down and playing as if they’d won this game before, and unlike the Jets — they have.

Is Big Ben an all-time great QB? That question will be answered on Super Bowl Sunday when Ben Roethlisberger will attempt to win his third Super Bowl championship in just his seventh year in the league. With no co-eds to distract him, Roethlisberger appears to have finally matured into the leader of the Pittsburgh Steelers as well as a functional adult in society. I would congratulate him if he weren’t almost 30 years old. I will however commend his outstanding and unique style of play on the football field.

Big Ben lived up to his nickname on Sunday, shrugging off Jets defenders throughout the game. Roethlisberger is simply too large and too crafty to be brought down by one pass rusher. Roethlisberger bought extra time in the pocket by eluding swarming Jets during several crucial plays, allowing his receivers to get open. If Roethlisberger wins his third Super Bowl in less than a decade the hall-of-fame conversation will officially begin.

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NFC Championship: Green Bay Packers 21, Chicago Bears 14

January 24th, 2011, 12:38 pm by Sara


Washington Redskins wide receiver Anthony Armstrong (aka MrArmstrong13) coined the phrase “knee-gate” in a tweet on Sunday in reference to Jay Cutler’s mysterious injury which sidelined him for the better part of the most important game of his career. The Bears lost, of course, but surprisingly not by a wide margin. The Green Bay Packers held on for the 21-14 victory and are headed to the Super Bowl in Dallas.

“Alright, Jay, we’re only down 14-0,” said Coach Lovie Smith. “You’re our leader. We have faith in you. Let’s win this.”

“Aw, coach. That’s so sweet of you,” said Cutler, who certainly would not use that phrasing. “The thing is, I’m actually not going to play. My knee is bleeding and…oh…never mind, that’s Gatorade. Well, I just don’t want to.”

Midway through the second quarter, Cutler began nursing an apparent knee injury. He continued to play through the injury, though it was obviously causing him discomfort. Cutler continued to play (horribly) in the beginning of the third quarter, but would soon exit the game without warning or incident. He proceeded to pace on the sideline – the perfect remedy for a knee injury – and occasionally pouted into the camera. It is unfathomable to think that Cutler would quit on his team in the NFC championship, but it seems that is exactly what happened. Chicago fans refused to be “out-crazied” by Cutler, as many of them instantly burned their jerseys in retaliation.

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NFL Championship Series Predictions

January 19th, 2011, 11:00 am by Sara

Last week for the NFL Divisional Playoff, sports writer Jesse Jacobs went 2-2 with his predictions. Can he ratchet it up a notch this week and go 2-0? We’ll have to wait til Sunday to find out, but in the meantime, here are Jesse’s prognostications for this weekend’s NFL Conference Championship Games:


The Jets are not a fallacy. They’ve always carried a loaded barrel full of talent holstered on their belt. Rex Ryan’s judgment on the football field far exceeds his judgment behind the microphone. The Jets players are no longer outthinking themselves, because they’re apparently too mad to think. Bart Scott is probably at home right now, yelling at himself in the mirror a la Golem:

“Don’t be so angry, Bartholomew. You’re playing tremendously. I’m proud of you,” says Scott.

“Don’t call me Bartholomew! I’ll kill you!” Scott retorts before head butting the mirror into a thousand pieces.

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NFL Playoffs: New York Jets 28, New England Patriots 21

January 18th, 2011, 3:00 pm by Greg

Find out what happened when people stopped being polite and started getting real on MTV’s first ever NFL Playoff game. It marked the only football game in history where no football was actually played. Name calling and drama were called upon to fill the void. Everyone lost.

Braylon Edwards Does a Back Flip; Jets beat Patriots

I need no introduction, but allow me to introduce myself. I’m Braylon Edwards. Sometimes I tie my shirt around my back, exposing my abdominals before I run onto the field. I once hit 120 miles per hour on the highway. On occasion, I punch friends of Lebron James in the face. On Sunday, I did a back flip. The Saturday before that, I did another one. I’m generally a quiet and reserved person. I hate attention, and I try to steer clear of the spotlight. Unfortunately for me, I’m constantly newsworthy. Though I think I deserve a bit of indulgence since we did just win the Super Bowl.

“We won? Let’s all yell at reporters!” Braylon Edwards should be the Jets’ mascot. He is one of the many Jets with the uncanny ability to always say the wrong thing. Edwards’ teammate Antonio Cromartie kicked off last week’s mediathon with a profanity-laced tirade directed at Tom Brady. Brady came right back at Cromartie, with the always hurtful, “He’s a great player.” Though Brady didn’t hurt Cromartie’s feelings, he succeeded in making him look and presumably feel like an idiot. Jets linebacker Bart Scott continued to tirade following the Jets win, inexplicably yelling at ESPN reporter Sal Paolantonio. Scott yelled about the media disrespecting the Jets and noted that the Patriots “couldn’t stop a nosebleed.” Scott admitted to fatigue following an all-nighter spent writing that joke.

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NFL Playoffs: Chicago Bears 35, Seattle Seahawks 24

January 18th, 2011, 11:02 am by Sara

Seattle’s “magical” playoff run has finally come to an end, and not a moment too soon. As I stated last week, football fan everywhere were one win away from rooting for this scrappy gang of misfits. Instead, the Chicago Bears put a merciful end to the Seahawks’ surprising underdog story. If you’re interested in similar tales with comparable protagonists, I recommend the “Air Bud” series, “Like Mike” or “Mr. 3000” to fill the void.

The Bears’ “balanced” attack: Let’s clear the air on this topic. Offensive coordinator Mike Martz is still very much insane. Countless analysts spent Sunday gushing about the Bears’ newfound presence in the run game. Starting running back Matt Forte ran adequately, though he averaged just 3.2 yards per carry and failed to score a touchdown. Forte also threw a mind-numbing interception with the Bears leading 28-3 in the fourth quarter. Martz couldn’t handle the simple task of running out the clock. Apparently, the fourth quarter of the divisional playoffs is the perfect time to experiment with new trick plays. The Bears built a big lead, and thus ran the ball more than usual. Don’t expect their commitment to the run to continue into next week. Instead, look for a punter-to-kicker-to-long-snapper reverse pass. This gem is filed under “QB kneel-down” in Mike Martz playbook.

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NFL Playoffs: Green Bay Packers 48, Atlanta Falcons 21

January 17th, 2011, 12:00 pm by Greg

Winter Blowout! Everything must go! Atlanta’s morale at an all-time low!

Luckily, this blowout was packed with entertainment, unlike the Ravens’ beat down of the Chiefs from a week ago. The Packers won this game with amazing play more so than the Falcons lost it with sub-par play. From the second quarter on, the Packers were better than the Falcons and every other team in the NFL in every facet of football. The Packers could have beaten Atlanta in anything on Saturday, from cribbage to a dance-off. Atlanta kick-returner Eric Weems busted out a Michael Jackson leg kick following a 102-yard kick return to the end zone in the second quarter. The Packers declined to dance following any of their six touchdowns. Green Bay is likely waiting for Detroit Lions quarterback Drew Stanton to “teach them how to Dougie.”

The Falcons got their highlights out of the way early. The Packers only stopped producing highlights during commercial breaks, and that was begrudgingly. Aaron Rodgers put together the best performance of the postseason thus far with 366 passing yards, three passing touchdowns, and a rushing touchdown for good measure. Rodgers didn’t mince words, calling it “the best performance of his career.”

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