Posts Tagged ‘funny’

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

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I missed this back in March – Omegle is a chat site that will allow you to have an anonymous internet chat with a stranger. I know! I don’t even want to talk to my friends online, much less put up with 12-year-old boys try to squick me out.

But I’ve come to realize I’m showing a distinct lack of imagination, as witnessed by a couple of websites devoted to collecting Omegle transcripts. You get all the surreality with no effort on your part. Here’s some examples:


Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi.
You: So...
Stranger: so?
You: You want to...
You: you know...
Stranger: sex?
You: Actually I was thinking more along the lines 
     of dismembering small children.
You: Clearly we do not think alike.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hey
You: Hi!
You: Please do not disconnect…
Stranger: haha ok..
You: Bonbons remain orbiting.
You: Now and then, line dancer defined by umbrella 
     trade baseball cards with for tabloid.
Stranger: SHUT THE FUCK OFFFFF

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Funeral Music

Friday, June 5th, 2009

So what kind of music do you suppose they played at Dee Dee’s funeral? Musing on this, I remembered this metafilter post from a few years back on the subject of funeral music. Sparked by a survey that reported that the most popular song played at funerals was James Blunt’s “Goodbye My Lover,” contributors listed their own ideas; these three still make me smile:

Mount me upright on a frame with casters, set me in the middle of a ballroom, and play waltzes so I can have a last dance with everyone, one visitor at a time.

Shine on You Crazy Diamond, I-IX. On acid. Scatter my ashes to the winds, then go play some frisbee.

METAL MACHINE MUSIC BOTH SIDES 2X WITH NO SEATS PLUS BEER WILL BE $10 A CUP. I’m dying angry.

A more recent survey declares Frank Sinatra’s “My Way” to be the top funeral song. Me, I think I’d choose Arvo Part’s Fur Alina – a sparse, meditative piano piece that I think will have them weeping in the aisles.

What music would you want played at your funeral?

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